HI! Carefree Shadow here with Laser Feet! The modern perambulation solution for the 21st century ageless-faceless-gender-neutral-human-being on the go. Laser Feet is non-toxic and stain resistant, so you can use it anywhere.

Use it on yourself. Use it on your friends. Deodorise your dog with it. Laser Feet works wherever the internet is found. The fast acting formulation gets to work immediately, while super advanced nano-pixel technology accurately delivers humour at resolutions ranging from “small” to “big” and even including “really big.”


Just some of the many screens supported by Laser Feet


Unlike ordinary joke books, Laser Feet does not require heavy shelves. Laser Feet is already compatible with the computer you are using right now. Simply click, eyeball, and enjoy. No need to mess with cables or connectors, no confusing tables of contents; no hassle, no problem.

...then again, people in infomercials are always idiots
A man unable to properly use a book

It’s like a painting, it’s like a book, but it’s shinier, and it can be yours for the low, low price of navigating to a website.

But that’s not all! Act now and you will receive theĀ Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3 booster pack. With this, you can copy, reuse, and modify Laser Feet – and all you need to do is credit the original creator.

About the Author

At least, we think he looks like this.

Carefree J. “Disco Al” Shadow, Esq. was definitely born… somewhere… during either a night or a day. The offspring of at least two people, he spent most of his childhood in a house, eating food and generally failing to be productive in most measurable ways.

He presumably attended some kind of school for some time, and spent a brief time at university, but could not be bothered to fulfil the education system’s arbitrary requirements and left to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a professional NEET. He has 17 years’ videogame experience, as well as high degree of proficiency in the fields of “internet timewasting” and “bacon frying.” He can (unfortunately) code in java, and has had extensive experience with “them computermachines.”

He currently resides in a house, and spends his days eating food and generally failing to be productive in any measurable way.

If you like, you can also bug him via electronic-mail or follow him on the twitters.

Disclaimer: Laser Feet is offered as is, with no guarantees, warranties, or support contracts. We are not liable for any injuries sustained through the use of Laser Feet. Add-on products may require shelving. Terms and conditions liable to sudden, inexplicable, possibly illogical change. May cause spontaneous combustion in lab rats. Internet sold separately.